Falling
by Motokoro
Summary: Drew was afraid of a lot of things, but most of all, he was afraid of himself. (One-Shot) Exploring the darker side of Drew. Drew-centric, with a little more than a dash of contestshipping. Rated T for cursing. [Contestshipping]


**Falling**

The festival lights were so bright that she felt like her eyes would go blind. Even after 7 years of entering the Grand Festival, she still felt that familiar bubbly feeling in her chest whenever she saw everyone having a good time. The best part was probably the fireworks every year, accompanied with a few select songs, choreographed perfectly for a good show.

She'd been coming every year, and it had become a ritual for her to watch them with Solidad, Drew and sometimes Harley, if she was feeling up to it. If she wasn't, she left Solidad to take care of the melodramatic Pokémon coordinator and found another place with Drew to watch in peace. Those nights were the prime of her career.

May had long since parted with Ash and Brock, and Max had gone off on an adventure of his own, so she roamed around, choosing a contest to enter here or there to earn her five ribbons. She had improved by a landfill, although Drew still managed to pull ahead whenever she thought she was catching up.

Sighing again, May caught sight of the familiar pinkette, Solidad, proudly bearing her Ribbon Cup once again. Perking up, May started over and greeted the more experienced coordinator. "Solidad! You were amazing out there." She offered.

Solidad smiled at her arrival, giving her a cheerful wave. "You too May, you improve by so much every year."

May nodded fervently. "Er…yeah. Have you seen Drew around?" She added a few seconds after, looking around for the rival-coordinator. She hadn't seen him after his loss to Solidad, he'd also disappeared for the awards ceremony, which was strange for him.

Solidad shook her head. "You should check at the beach, he usually goes there to train. Or maybe he doesn't want to see Harley and ran off to find somewhere comfy?" She suggested helpfully. Cheering up at this, May thanked the older girl and set off to find her other friend.

He wasn't at the beach, but she shrugged that off. He wasn't at any of the places where they watched the fireworks previously, she told herself he was probably off looking for some other place. But after she scrounged nearly the entire arena and outlying vicinity, she was starting to lose hope. _Oh Drew, you couldn't have left could you?_ May bit her bottom lip and chewed, a habit that she had developed over the years.

Finally, after a load of searching and asking around, she located her rival at a secluded water fountain that wasn't working, a considerable distance away from the festive area. He was hunched over, resting his head on his hands, staring at the ground. What was even weirder was that there were a ton of trees that would most certainly block their view of the fireworks.

"Drew! Oh thank goodness, I was looking everywhere for you!" She started to run over, but froze when she sensed the mood. There was an unsettling aura circulating the greenhead. May paused. "…Drew?"

"What do you want?" It took a second for May to recognize the voice as one of her closest friends. Drew looked up and May took a step back. He looked like a murderer. There was an unnerving gleam in his eyes underneath the gray-green hue, a shadow cast over his face like a mask, the only things visible in the dark were his startling green eyes. She was so busy taking him in that she forgot what she was there for in the first place. Drew arched an eyebrow when she remained silent. "Come here to gloat?" He asked, voice laced with hostility.

"D-Drew," Curse her for stuttering, she was _not_ scared of him goddamnit. "What happened?" May rushed over, but halted when Drew held a hand out, effectively making her stop. There was a reigning silence filled by the sound of the cheery background music, doing nothing to lighten the mood.

After a minute, Drew started to speak again. "Tell me, have you ever gotten to the finals and _lost_?" He said 'Lost' as if the word was a curse, as if the very thought of it hurt.

May straightened. "As a matter of fact, I have." She replied, not haughty, but not at all modest either. Making it to finals was an honor to her.

Drew smiled, but it wasn't a nice smile. It was more of a just-looking-at-you-hurts grimace. His lips pulled up at the edges, stretching his face in a grotesque manner, subconsciously making May shudder. "Wonderful." He complimented, although it sounded far from a compliment. He partnered the words with a slow clap, making May stiffen. It felt like he was mocking her. "Simply wonderful." He repeated, the smile dropped from his face so suddenly that May flinched. "Now multiply that pain by six, and what do you get?" He forced the words out through gritted teeth.

May gasped as it dawned on her. Six, Drew had gotten to the finals six times in the Grand Festival, save for the one time she'd beaten him. And each time, he had lost right before his chance at the cup. May carefully went over how she was going to say this, she knew Drew was sensitive to the topic of losing, and his previous remark had just furthered her evidence. "Drew, are you upset over your loss?"

May knew she'd hit the mark when Drew remained silent.

"Oh Drew, you shouldn't get all riled up. I'm sure you'll get it next time! With all your improvement, you're bound to get there!" She chuckled nervously, and walked over tentatively, afraid he'd push her away again.

Drew frowned, his forehead creasing noticeably. "You say that, but how much of it do you actually mean?"

May scrunched up her nose at the question. "Wha-I, well, all of it!" She said, trying to reassure him. She could tell when he abruptly stood up, his eyes hardening as he advanced. He stopped a few inches away from her feet, towering over her. He'd gotten incredibly tall in the 7 years she'd known him, he was at least 3 inches taller than her, despite all that May had grown. She admitted that _hotdamn_ , puberty had been luxurious with him.

She snapped back to reality when he tilted forward slightly, blocking her view of the trees. "You still think that after seven years May? Really, truly, without rebut?"

The brunette was starting to get fed up with his doubting, but after some serious thought, she replied; "Yes."

To her annoyance, Drew seemed surprised at her answer, then recovering, he pulled back and wistfully stared into the trees. "Your loyalty…is touching." He murmured, just enough for May to catch his words.

May clenched her fist. "It's not loyalty!" She burst. "I'm not saying this because I'm trying to reassure you! I actually believe it!" She poked at Drew's chest and sucked in a breath, calming herself down. "Drew, I know your losses might hurt, but you need to get over it. She reached out and placed a hand on his arm.

Almost instantaneously, Drew's head snapped back to glare at her, his hand smacking her hand of his shoulder. "Get over it?! You want me to _fucking_ get over it?!" He demanded, pushing her back. May gasped at his usage of a cuss word, startling her into silence. "Tell me how many times you've lost when you've been that close to the cup? Once! I've been there six times! Tell me that it wouldn't start rubbing on you? Say it!" Drew exhaled shakily.

May opened her mouth several times, but nothing came out. Drew had never snapped at her like this before, it'd only happened once, seven years ago with his Absol. "D-Drew-"

"Oh shut it! You don't understand anything, you're May Maple, Miss I-Couldn't-Care-Less about anything! Miss I-Have-No-Idea-What's-Going-On! Shut your trap when you don't understand anything!" Drew continued.

Regaining her senses, May pushed him away from her. "I do too understand! I get how you're scared! I get that you're hurt that you lost and that you feel helpless! Everyone gets scared!" She argued, flailing her arms wildly to emphasize the point.

Drew froze, and for a second May thought that her words had gotten through that thick-skulled head of his. Her heart sunk when he started talking in a low, hushed voice. "You…think, that _I'm_ scared? You're saying that I'm scared?!" His voice increased in volume as he turned on her. "I'm not scared! I'm not a coward!" He pressed back.

Oh no no, that was not what she had meant. "Drew, I didn't mean it like that! I'm saying-" She tried to comfort him, but he beat her to it.

"I'M NOT A FUCKING COWARD!" Drew bellowed.

May's heart seized in her chest and she stumbled. "I-I-" She stammered, but her brain wasn't functioning properly.

Then he started to laugh, making it even worse. It came out as a deep, long, malicious cackle that seemed to never end, going on and on and on. "You've given up on me too haven't you? I should've known friends aren't anything. It's just-" He started laughing uncontrollably again, his eyes looked insane. "-It's just a stupid, stupid, word." Drew raised a hand and raked it feverishly through his hair.

He stumbled back to his seat at the fountain and sank down, digging his hands into his hair. There was silence for a moment, filled with the sounds of May gasping like a fish and an occasional boom from the arena. "Drew-"

"That's it." He cut her off again, though by now May could hardly care, Drew's current state was far more important. "That's the difference between you and me. Your friends make you weak, they support you, and the more they support you, the more you rely on them. When you rely on someone too much, they drag you down. I'm not like you, I don't have that." The last few words seemed like they were more for himself than they were for May.

Stiffening, May steadied herself. "You're right." She said, quietly at first. "I _am_ weak. But it's not because of my friends, it's because of myself!" She placed a hand on her chest and faced Drew, who was now looking at her in mild shock. "My friends are the reason why everyday I'm a little less weak! They support me when I'm down and help me get up again, I might be weak on my own, but with my friends I get stronger each and every day!" She paused, realizing she'd gone off into some pseudo-motivational speech.

Drew sighed and shook his head, a condescending gleam in his eye. "Fine, so friends make you stronger, but you forgot that I don't _have_ any friends, I don't _have_ anyone to support me, I don't _have_ someone to make me stronger, so I just have to do it _myself_."

There was an icy edge in his tone of voice, and for a second, May contemplated on whether or not she should leave. May scowled. "You just don't get it Drew."

Drew thrust a hand out, as if he was demanding something from her. "Oh yeah? I don't get it because we're completely different, you have friends and _I don't_."

"You have more friends than you know!" May replied, infuriated.

Drew retracted his hand as his eyebrows knit together. "Alright. Name one, name one _fucking_ friend that I have." When May didn't say anything, he forged on. "Yeah? I thought s-"

"YOU HAVE ME!" She burst out, sending Drew reeling back, nearly pushing him into the fountain with the force of her voice. "You have me and Solidad and Harley and your family and all your fans and Brianna and Ash and Brock and Max and you have me!" Her converse made a thudding sound on the pavement as she neared him. Drew flinched when she grabbed his shoulders and shook him as hard as she could.

"I know you're scared Drew! Stop trying to deny it!" She held a hand up to keep him quiet. "It doesn't mean you're a coward, everyone gets scared sometimes! Everyone wants to give up, but the best part is when you don't! Everybody fails, and that's just life!" She panted after her fiasco and bowed her head, a few millimeters away from Drew's chest.

Before the both of them could say anything, a voice came from the trees. "May?! Drew?! Where're you? The fireworks will be starting soon!" _Solidad._ And if Solidad was close, that probably meant Harley was around too.

May turned around and took a step towards the voices, about to call out a reply.

"Go." May froze in place. "Go," Drew spat. "They're looking for you."

May hesitated, if she left now, everything she had been building up would be for nothing. "No." She finally said.

She felt Drew stand up behind her, a chuckle reverberating through her spine, sending the chills down her back. The laugh wasn't anything like the Drew she knew's laugh, this laugh was dark, forced, and under it all, desperate. "Ex _cuse_ me?"

May set her jaw. "No Drew." She whipped around and stared him straight in the face. "Look at me." Drew spared her a glance, a glare full of hate. It was only for a second, but May saw through it. His eyes betrayed his words, his façade was contradicting what he really lacked. It was a glare full of hate, but it wasn't for May, it was for himself. "My friends don't need me right now Drew." She added the last part quietly. "You do."

It might've been in her imagination, but May swore that at that very moment, she heard something in Drew shatter. His eyes glazed over and he sank to his knees. "I'm not a kid. I don't need anyone." He muttered obsessively to himself, his entire figure was shaking uncontrollably.

"It's okay to lose Drew, the world doesn't depend on it." May said quietly, standing in front of him.

Drew looked up at her. "Maybe…Maybe that's it. Maybe my best just isn't enough, maybe I'm just…" Drew trailed off and May creased her brow in worry. "I'm just not enough." Drew finished, he stared at his hands, his eyes widening as he came to the conclusion.

May bit her lip and knelt down next to him. "Drew, that's not it, your best will always be more than enough, please-"

"I try so hard and in the end it amounts to nothing, it's not my Pokémon or my technique, it's just me. I'm the one that's not strong enough, I'm the one who isn't enough." Drew rambled on, May couldn't tell if he even remembered that she was there. "Maybe I'm destined for failure." Suddenly, the greenhead's hands shot out and grabbed onto May's shirt front. "I-What have I done? My Pokémon are stuck with a trainer that's nothing! I'm nothing!"

May tried to get his attention. "Drew," He didn't respond, there was no recognition of the person kneeling in front of him. "Drew!" May repeated, this time, Drew jerked back to reality. "That's the problem, we just solve the problem and everything will be okay. You've been relying on yourself for too long, you're too hard on yourself. Your expectations are beyond the limit and you just won't let _anyone_ help you. You have so many people who want to help, but you won't let them!" May calmed her nerves and placed a hand on Drew's heart. "Six years ago, you helped me get over Solidad. Now it's my turn. Let me help you Drew _, please_." She pleaded in a hushed whisper, and finally _, finally_ her words seemed to get through.

Drew slumped and leaned into her, his grip tightening. " _Help me_." He said in a tiny, broken voice.

May could've danced in relief, all she had to do now was comfort him, which wasn't going to be easy, but at least the storm had passed. "Why are you so angry about losing?" She pressed, although it wasn't forcing. She wrapped her arms around him pulled him onto the fountain edge with her.

Drew shakily exhaled and began explaining. "Who wouldn't be? Coordinating is everything to me, other than my Pokémon, and without it, I'm just a stupid little kid who was no idea what he's doing." Drew stopped there and May nervously patted his head, not sure if he was okay with it. Fortunately, it seemed to calm him down considerably, and he started talking again. "Other people have alternatives they can go to. I don't. Coordinating is the only thing I have. Solidad doesn't need to worry, she wins almost every contest she enters. And every time I fail…" Drew started trembling again and May tightened her grip.

"Come on Drew, that can't be true." She murmured softly into his matted hair.

She startled when he jolted, clenching his fist so hard his knuckles turned white. "But it is! You know it's true. You've lived your entire life in luxury, a father who's a gym leader, you can just help him if coordinating doesn't work out!" May's eyes hardened. The scariest thing was that what he said was true, there was a faint glimmer of honesty that she'd been avoiding for so long.

"I don't think so." May whispered, pulling him back. He let her without any objection, wrapping his arms around her waist and konking his forehead a little bit above her breastbone. "I still think you're the best coordinator anyone could ask for." Gently, she placed a chastise kiss on top of Drew's head. "Even if everyone else likes Solidad better, I still think you're the best. I think you're better than Solidad, and better than Harley, better than all of the others."

She let that sink in, and Drew seemed to finally calm down. "Even better than you?" He said after a minute. There was a teasing tone in his voice and May closed her eyes in relief.

Drew was back.

She couldn't have been more grateful for the stubborn arrogant little bastard tangled with her. She breathed him in and opened her eyes again.

"Even better than me." She answered, and this time, she was being completely honest.

The start of a song made the both of them flinch, and a loud boom after indicated that the fireworks had started, the song was a pumpy one, filled to the brim with spunk. "Look Drew! Fireworks!" She nudged him excitedly, but the boy shook his head.

"Don't let go." He said so quietly she could barely pick it up.

May turned a furious shade of crimson. "I-" Another loud _boom_ shook the sky, and May yielded. "Okay." She ran her hand through his hair and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He smelled like sweat and greenery, but underneath it all, there was the smell she had come to distinctly know as Drew. Just Drew, no strings attached.

He said it in the middle of a firework, exploding in the sky, with both their eyes closed. From a distance, you might've thought they were lovers.

 _Thank you._

If Solidad and the others were to have caught up to the two of them now, they would have been greeted with the sight of May, arms encircled around Drew, head resting on his shoulder, her face melding perfectly into the crook of his neck.

And then Drew, hugging May around the waist, head leaned against her chest for support, clinging onto her as if she were life itself.

 **Fin.**

 **OMFG HERE YE HERE YE I FINISHED. AFTER 2 WEEKS, 3 DAYS OF BRAINSTORMING AND SOME INSPIRATION FROM A CAMPING TRIP I FINALLY FINISHED. Aw I love these two lovelies so much, they are my OTP children, which doesn't mean they're related, 'cuse me. I AM SO PROUD OF THIS IT PHYSICALLY HURTS. SO PLEASE. BE KIND. K. I. N. D. IT WILL NOT HURT YOUR PRETTY LITTLE REPUTATION OR EGO. I hope you enjoyed the contestshipping~**

 **Motokoro**


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